Have you ever had a friend who simply blanked you for no given reasons? It was a matter of ‘Don’t call me’, and you thought you were great friends; one who exchanged ideas, confidential thoughts with. BE CAREFUL WHO YOU CONFIDE YOUR SECRETS TO BECAUSE WHO YOU THINK MAY BE YOUR FRIEND, MAY NOT BE—it may just be that you talk too much that you don’t know who spilled your secret.
Sometimes we talk so much relating our secrets/problems to too many people/friends that some may not have your interests/concerns at heart and will tell it to another, then it starts to spread. By telling it to too many you may never know the true source of how it started…be wise when confiding….every smile is not a smile…..some smiles are just teeth/gum and nothing more. The world is filled with lots of pretentious people but it’s so wrong to assume/accuse anyone without an explanation/proof…
I once had a friend who did such to me over ten years ago. We used have long conversations on the phone; from spirituality to any topic that will help each other grow. We never gossiped, and I saw her as a good friend because I’m simply the type if you want to talk about others, don’t waste my time, and that’s gossiping and I won’t be a partaker of, therefore, we talked about us; our lives, our past, present, future, just the reality of life; our experiences and lessons we learned and were taught.
Then one day she called me and said to me, don’t call her back, with no explanation. I pleaded with her and asked why and what was wrong, she never replied. Well I left it alone, and I thought to myself if she doesn’t need me in her life that’s fine, maybe it was the end of a cycle/friendship/season.
We discussed quite a lot of very personal stuff so I wondered what if something got leaked by one of her (other) confidants (since she had many other friends beside me) and thought it was me, who knows? That’s what I thought all these years since she never talked about it again.
Years passed by when she asked for my number from a family member and contacted me, she called with no explanation regarding the long break in our friendship, and I continued our conversation like we were still friends. The truth is she had changed/progressed since our ‘last’ friendship, and achieve much materially and spiritually, and asked that I visited her new place she had recently built, and which I was excited to see but yet I was hesitant. I thought to myself, will she do same to me again? ..we talked by phone but never sat to speak to her in conversation eye to eye because I was visiting on a vacation, and my time was limited.
I liked who she became and though I never saw her again nor visited her place, because she never told me the reason why she asked me not to call her, and knowing me about letting bygones be bygones, I never asked….still my ears were still opened to whatever cries and concerns she had…maybe she’ll realize who her true friends are/were and what a true friend I was/am. I assume she wanted to make up for the ‘misunderstanding’ but in her conversations with me she never mentioned it. I allowed her to reveal what it was in her timing, whatever it was, still I refuse to hold it against her because I still don’t know the reason why she said what she said.
Sometimes we don’t know the emotional conflicts and depth of people’s problematic heart/soul; their problem, maybe their one step from insanity yet you must reach out to them….still I believe it may have been a problem she may had been faced with that she didn’t want to talk about, who knows? What if it was nothing I did? What if she was dealing with her personal problems and wanted no one to further conflict them ?..I never knew why.
My heart is still open and I still have her number, so its never too late to make amends, even let bygones be bygones.
And so life goes on with a smile whether we choose to hold people in our hearts for their wrongful accusation/assumptions of us or even our wrongful assumptions/accusation of them, or move on and see them as valid, important lessons….
I chose to forgive her eons ago, and has now turned a new page in my life and our level of friendship, and what true friendship means and what it is to love unconditionally.
Donique C. Perez Copyrighted July 15, 2011. All rights reserved.
